Miserable Girlboss vs Fascist Tradwife LIVE!
(while the world is burning)
Introduction
I never read introductions cause they are boring and I lose interest before I even get into the main story, so let us get right into it :**
Girlboss
It all started with our fast fashion girly, Sophia Amoruso, in 2014, with the publication of her book titled “#Girlboss”. Meant to inspire young female entrepreneurs to “work hard” their way to the top, the book also set the foundations for neoliberal feminism.
What is that u ask?
Neoliberal feminism focuses on individual success rather than collective emancipation, it ignores class, race, disabilities, sexual orientation, and gender identity. Just like the “girlboss myth” it portrays one’s failure as an individual mistake, not considering the potential societal problems and economic environment. Yet feminism is not an individual project and cannot be excluded from the societal structures of power. The girlboss preaches “If you’re not at the top it’s because you didn’t work hard enough!”.
However, one might suggest this trend is a natural outcome of the capitalist economic system and the current individual politics we are forced to adopt. Sophia Amoruso supports that female representation in leadership roles will open the path to equality, but I doubt that.
Will more female leadership lead to equality? Or will it create more bad leaders who exploit their workers?
Do I have a soft spot for female billionaires? No, I don’t think that anyone should have that much money and they can only reach that stage through exploitation.
Did I smile when I heard Ida Liu, who btw scares the shit out of me, say that in the next 5 years, women will control 50% of the global wealth market?
Yes…. I like to think that women will make more mindful choices with the disgusting blood money they inherit, which depends on whether or not they inherited the greed and entitlement from their fathers too. Maybe they were the first to go to therapy, maybe not, and if they did, they probably went to Freud’s grand-grand-grandchild and cried on a vintage designer sofa. However, some studies find that women in general tend to be more altruistic than men. For example, one study found the feel-good hormone dopamine increased in women’s brains when sharing reward money, while it increased for men when keeping the reward money for themselves.
I don’t even know if what Ida Liu said is true, cause I saw it from a reel on Instagram :) But what I think she's referring to is “The Great Wealth Transfer”. According to Emily Green From Ellevest Magazine:
“The Great Wealth Transfer is a colossal shift in who owns money in the United States. Right now, half of all wealth is held by Boomers. Over the next 20 years, it will be inherited. And women will control more money than they ever have.
This gender shift is happening in two ways. Women tend to live longer than men, so more women Boomers will manage their wealth independently. Meanwhile, money will be handed down. Gen X will receive some, but the much larger millennial generation — with its record numbers of single women — will end up with most of it.
Some sources have this amount of money at $84 trillion. Others say it’s closer to $129 trillion, thanks to government policy during the pandemic. And we don’t need to wait a generation, either: This is going on right now. In fact, by 2030, American women will manage at least $30 trillion, more than the national GDP. We’ve never seen this kind of change in our lives, or in our grandmothers’ lives”.
What happens to the girl when she becomes a boss?
Is she buried under the egomaniac perception that her power lies in her ambition and determination to “work harder”? She’s special, she’s not like the other girls because men listen to her. They do because she speaks their language, she’s willing to adapt to a depressing and exploitative capitalist world, she doesn't question the preexisting values that have historically excluded her and profited off her self-doubt. Most importantly, she wears those ugly ass blazers, cosplaying a man with the exception that her costume shows off her figure.
Can a girl boss even exist? Can one be a girl and a boss at the same time?
Perhaps, there is no such thing as a girl boss because a girl would never act #Like A Bo$$, I don’t mean a girl cannot be a leader of course, I mean that “boss” comes with patriarchal ideological behaviors. Since women didn’t get to lead the Industrial Revolution, what corporate leadership means and looks like was completely created by men. A set of tools some white guys used to establish harmonious obedience. And now you want a young intern to learn them? Hell nah, she’d rather have coffee with her friends. Check your facts before you make your corporate propaganda bro. A girl would never act so individualistically, so opportunistically, and self-centered, she’d much rather exist in peace with her peers.
So a girl boss is still a boss, but a female one(yay)! But from a female boss, people expect femininity under a structure that doesn’t have any feminist ideals like equality? And empathy?!? On top of that, now you’re expected to help other women to get to the top while managing your personal work and if you get too cocky, we’ll all call you a bitch and a narcissist for not wanting kids lol!
A great example of the female vs male boss archetype is the way female bosses are heavily questioned and examined for how they made it to the top and how they manage their power. In other words, the double standards don’t stop at the girlboss, there is pressure to succeed and not make the same mistakes as their male counterparts. Men are not expected to have a family parallel to their careers, so they have all the freedom to focus on themselves and their success by all means necessary. They don’t have to show solidarity with other men because that would be helping everyone, ever! They were their own players and opponents from day one, asking for the support of other men. Now, women come and they are their own players and opponents but they also need to be each other’s biggest supporters.
Simply put, women are expected to help others while men only focus on themselves. And of course, in order to reach boss positions and/or great wealth, you need to adopt an individualistic mindset and get weirdly comfortable with the exploitation of others. Today, some people are waking up to the fact that being a capitalist slave is not empowering, it’s depressing :( More and more women are choosing to work from home and some are choosing not to work at all, we’ll unpack why that is later.
Tradwives
On the other side of our detailed wooden table, in 2023, a trend majorly resurfaced, titled “Tradwives”.
So-called “Traditional-wives”, are influencers that show an effortless lifestyle, they are mostly Cis-hetero white upper-class women, showcasing their marriage featuring traditional gender roles, like it's the 1950s. Their aesthetic usually includes wearing an apron over their archived clothes in their expensive vintage-modern kitchen. Since they are jobless and proud, they spend their time broadcasting their old-school ideals on the internet without acknowledging the troubling history behind their fantasy, which is based on women whose vintage props include lobotomies, depression, and barbiturates to make life tolerable.
They believe the exchange of paid labor for unpaid labor is fulfilling their femininity. Let’s be honest, Tradwifery, in our day and age, is a classist myth. We can’t compare our current economy with the one in the 50s-60s when with the rising cost of living, households struggle to survive with double incomes. In order to reach this aesthetic you need to have a loooot of money.
Don’t get me wrong, Stay-at-home mothers, caregivers, and housewives are all respectable “occupations”. Tradwives are a lot more than that though. They come with a dangerous ideology, an anti-feminist one with a sprinkle of alt-right wing views, gender essentialism, xenophobia, and homophobia. “It’s my choice!” tradwives say, a choice given to them by the same feminism they despise so much. Ironically, they weaponize “choice-feminism” to support their anti-choice politics, like the pro-life agenda, anti-same-sex marriages, and other anti-feminist propaganda. Thus, subconsciously portraying feminists as anti-mothers, anti-family and anti-religion. They believe that the concept of the nuclear family is gone and that women used to be “protected” by society, following a religious biblical submission to their family and an outdated understanding of gender roles.
I don’t mind being a working mother, it’s the global apocalypse that bothers me
Women have always been working mothers, they were always important and productive while also being the primary caretakers, from securing food on the table to teaching, to ruling. Housewifery and reproductive labor are highly unappreciated by society. The enjoyment and fulfillment of taking care of your loved ones is undoubtful. I find it very sad to compare this beautiful ritual to work, but since we’re under capitalism, we have to acknowledge it as reproductive labor, a necessary one that people tend to disregard, maybe because it doesn't pay cash.
There are many reasons for someone to choose to be a stay-at-home mother like in the case of people with disabilities, for personal or cultural reasons, religion, or just not wanting to endure harsh working conditions and exploitation. Ideologies like the tradwives harm these groups of people too. Since, for some people, this is not some weird fetish or political weapon but a conscious agreement or necessity. Pretty much, they make everyone look bad while reinforcing the image of “perfect victimhood”. There are many ways that this dependency can go wrong. The provider could leave or abuse them, and they are then blamed for their own hunger and homelessness. The individualistic capitalist world blames people for depending on others, as if that’s a crime?
This Cliche of having it all, an almost mythological balance, leads to gender depression under capitalism.
Women have climbed the corporate ladder, they are CEOs, directors, astronauts, scientists, researchers, politicians, and economists, yet they are still the primary caretakers, with the same societal expectations to perform housework and reproductive labor without expecting anything in return. Not everyone can have it all when childcare is so privatized and expensive, no one can have it all with these long workdays, short-term maternity leaves, and minimal labor protection. Where are the government-funded child centers? There is no longer a collective approach to childcare, now it’s an individual task and an individual problem. Evidently, reproductive freedom and fighting for liveable wages is a feminist issue, everyone should have the right to choose to have a child and the right to afford one.
Why are we so threatened by an internet trend tho?
Yeah of course no one wants to work in these conditions, but a step back from the workforce would reinforce patriarchy, especially in this recent fascist atmosphere. Our absence would serve them more. So sadly or not, whatever the intentions, female leadership is needed more than ever. Weirdly enough, we kinda have it, but in the face of the right-wing political parties. Somehow they know best, that the woman as a symbol of power is what people would trust, in hopes of some girl energy, BUT NO, they manage to be worse?!? Unironically, I can’t help but be fascinated by female neo-fascist figures like Melloni and Le Pen. How did they pull that off?!?! Making everyone forget that they hate women in this political scene takes a real bimbo to achieve, one that even neonazi men respect. I can't imagine how hard they had to work on their ignorance to be against their own rights. They became the best at being their worst enemies, frustrated repressed men.
Then vs now
Unsurprisingly enough, it's not the first time we’ve seen women regress toward tradition, but last time it wasn’t our choice. In 1963, Betty Friedan published the book “Feminist Mystique” which went on to kickstart second-wave feminism. The context of the time was that women in America had entered the workplace during the Second World War because the men were out killing each other, but the same women went back to being housewives after their husbands returned. With that, came what we call a “baby boom”, meaning that people rushed to have kids after all that killing. Gender roles were reemphasized to “rebalance” the “natural order”, and women returned to being only mothers again. This led to gender depression, as after all that taste of freedom a need for women to gain their independence was ignited.
Women in the 50s were forced to return to tradition because of patriarchal propaganda, they protested for their economic freedom so we can work, how could we wanna go back now?
Is it an “I have curly hair so I want it straight situation”? Or is it capitalism?!?
When I was 18, I went to London and I visited the “BODIES…” exhibition, as an inspiring girl in STEM. If you don't know already, it's an exhibition that showcases real human bodies and organs to explain anatomy and human biology. There was a female reproduction section that intrigued me the most, especially a diagram that stuck with me. It was the statistics of happiness levels between women, working with no kids, working with kids, not working with kids, no job no kids. In the end, It showed that the happiest women are the ones with jobs but no kids, so my logical brain had an aneurysm. I remember thinking, “I just won't have kids then!”, easy, done.
But was that the whole truth? After reading through numerous research papers that I couldn't summarize, (if u do, check my references), I ended up asking an old friend from university for help, and CHATGPT said:
“Research indicates that women's self-reported happiness has declined both absolutely and relative to men since the 1970s. A study by Stevenson and Wolfers (2009) found that while women's lives have objectively improved over the past 35 years, measures of subjective well-being indicate that women's happiness has decreased, erasing the previous gender gap where women reported higher happiness than men.
This trend is observed across various datasets, and measures of subjective well-being, and is present across demographic groups and industrialized countries. By the 1990s, women were less happy than men, a reversal from the 1970s when women typically reported higher subjective well-being.
The reasons for this decline are complex and not fully understood. Some suggest that increased opportunities and choices for women may have led to higher expectations and pressures, potentially contributing to decreased happiness. Others point to the challenges of balancing work and family life, despite gains in women's rights and opportunities.
It's important to note that while these studies highlight a trend, individual experiences of happiness can vary widely, and subjective well-being is influenced by numerous factors, including personal circumstances, societal norms, and cultural contexts.”
Beautifully said by the robot doing a great job at my job. From the kitchen to the office, female happiness is weirdly declining. Perhaps, most of us never really left the kitchen, we just took it with us to the office or we took our office to the kitchen. The lucky ones just bought a machine to clean the dishes for them, but they were still the ones to set it up. Or maybe, it’s because all happiness is declining, and possibly, men have always just been miserable. Our world is going to shit and we now have the front seats to watch it happen, while breastfeeding a child of course.
Lastly, let's look at the atmosphere women are working in:
More than 4/10, 44% of Romanian employees have experienced sexual harassment at work, 4/5 didn’t report it and 86% were women.
In Greece, in 2021, 43% of women who work said they had experienced sexual harassment at work.
I fully understand someone not wanting to work in these conditions. Yet, unfortunately giving up is not a choice. Not working is not as easy as we think, economic dependency can be imprisoning and for a lot of women, home is not a safe space either.
Consequences
Perhaps, tradwives aren't the real threat but the society they exist in is:
In Romania, 1/4 of women fall victim to domestic violence and 1/4 of women were or are in a captive abusive relationship.
Concerning my home country Greece, in 2022, 24 women were murdered by a member of their family. In 2021, it was reported that 42% of Greek women who have ever been in a relationship have experienced violence by their intimate partner.
Worldwide, in 2022, around 48.800 women and girls were killed by their intimate partners or their family members. This means that on average more than 133 women and girls were killed every day by their families, with the highest problem being in Africa, which had approximately 20.000 victims. Asia is following with around 18.400 female victims, then America with 7900, Europe with 2300 and Oceania with around 200. It is clear that this is a huge crisis outside of the cis, white, upper-middle-class bubble, and I should probably move to Australia.
No safety at work? No safety at home? Where are we safe tho?
I'm not sure we can afford to stop fighting for our rights when we can’t even assure our safety in our own homes. Domestic violence can take many forms: emotional, physical, verbal, spiritual, social, sexual, cyber, or even economic. Here, I want to focus on economic violence based on a study by the Anais Association.
Economic violence
According to the Anais Association:
“Economic Violence is a form of domestic violence through which your partner controls your access to financial and basic resources (food, medicine, personal belongings), thus limiting your independence and ability to make financial decisions.
Economic violence can affect anyone, regardless of socio-economic and professional status. The significant representation of respondents with higher education and postgraduate education (76%) indicates that economic violence is not limited by the level of education and can happen to anyone.
Signs of economic violence:
The partner embezzles money from your or the family's budget.
Partner refuses to pay bills or support family financially.
The partner prevents you from holding a bank card or you have bank accounts
Your partner forbids you to use the common property.
The partner forces you to give explanations for every amount of money you spend.
Your partner makes financial decisions without consulting you.
Your partner takes your salary.
Your partner makes you feel guilty for every amount of money you spend.
Your partner repeatedly tells you that he takes care of you and that you have no reason to work.
Your partner forces you to quit your job or reduce your working hours.
Your partner exposes you, or your children, to harsh or harmful working conditions.
Economic violence takes various forms, from limiting access to one's own money or bank accounts to the prohibition of pursuing professional opportunities or the compulsion to work in unfavorable conditions within family businesses. In 6 out of 10 cases, economic violence includes limiting access to financial resources and basic goods, while family resources are used for purposes other than essential ones.
Economic control is a critical barrier that prevents many people from leaving abusive relationships, some victims were intentionally left penniless to prevent them from having the means to separate themselves. Almost 70% of the participants encountered difficulties in leaving due to constraints and financial control, underlining the profound impact of economic abuse on personal freedom and safety. This highlights the need for specific support and resources to help victims overcome these barriers”.
The ANAIS Association offers free legal advice for obtaining a protection order, guidance and social counseling, and psychological counseling/group psychotherapy.
Conclusion
Thank god for choice-feminism, I always wanted the freedom to choose my cage Yay!! Having to work to death to afford a house and food for your family isn’t really a choice. Maybe instead of having to choose between two hellish pipelines, we can fight for collective emancipation against all forms of oppression. Patriarchy and capitalism make both the tradwife and the girlboss miserable, so next time your homegirl says “I don’t want to woooork i want a rich husband!!”, let her know that she doesn't truly want to be a housewife, she wants the dissolution of the capitalist system (and universal basic income, that would be nice). Even if we wanted to, can we really depend on our partners when social services for domestic violence are not there? Depending on a man is a dangerous game. In a time when our reproductive rights are being taken away from us, the pay gap is still there as well as racism, ableism, homophobia, and transphobia, now is not the time to stop fighting.
Credits:
Writing/ Photography/ Creative Direction by Klelia
Text Editors: Sofia, Marisanthi
Styling by Betty
Clothes by Babaluna store
Talent, model and queen: Ilinca Manolache
Assist: Andrei, Mo
Bibliography
Ellevest, 2025. The Great Wealth Transfer: What It Means For Women And For The World. [online] Available at: https://www.ellevest.com/magazine/investing/great-wealth-transfer [Accessed 22 Jan. 2025].
Ellevest, 2025. Why the Great Wealth Transfer Is Making History for Women and Wealth. [online] Available at: https://www.ellevest.com/magazine/investing/great-wealth-transfer [Accessed 22 Jan. 2025].
EIGE, 2023. Gender Equality Index 2023: Violence - Greece. [online] Available at: https://eige.europa.eu/gender-equality-index/2023/domain/violence/EL [Accessed 22 Jan. 2025].
ImproDova, n.d. Data and statistics in Greece. [online] Available at: https://training.improdova.eu/en/data-and-statistics/data-and-statistics-in-greece/ [Accessed 22 Jan. 2025].
Asociația Anais, 2024. Flyer: Justify. [PDF] Available at: https://asociatia-anais.ro/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Flyer-A6-justify.pdf [Accessed 22 Jan. 2025].
Asociația Anais, 2024. Infografic: Cercetare despre violența economică. [PDF] Available at: https://asociatia-anais.ro/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Infografic_Cercetare-despre-violenta-economica_final-1.pdf [Accessed 22 Jan. 2025].
Asociația Anais, n.d. Radioul Captiv. [online] Available at:
https://radioul-captiv.asociatia-anais.ro/
[Accessed 22 Jan. 2025].
Romania Insider, 2023. Study: Workplace sexual harassment still widespread in Romania. [online] Available at: https://www.romania-insider.com/study-workplace-sexual-harassment [Accessed 22 Jan. 2025].
Stevenson, B. & Wolfers, J., 2009. The paradox of declining female happiness. American Economic Journal: Economic Policy, 1(2), pp.190-225. Available at: https://www.aeaweb.org/articles?id=10.1257/pol.1.2.190 [Accessed 22 Jan. 2025].
The Guardian, 2017. Stereotype that women are kinder and less selfish is true, claim neuroscientists. [online] Available at: https://www.theguardian.com/science/2017/oct/09/stereotype-that-women-are-kinder-and-less-selfish-is-true-claim-neuroscientists [Accessed 22 Jan. 2025].
UN Women, 2023. Gender-related killings of women and girls (femicide/feminicide): Global estimates 2022. [PDF] Available at: https://www.unwomen.org/sites/default/files/2023-11/gender-related-killings-of-women-and-girls-femicide-feminicide-global-estimates-2022-en.pdf [Accessed 22 Jan. 2025].
Related video-essays that inspired me
YouTube, 2023. Tradwives and the White Supremacists Who Love Them by Shanspeare. [video] Available at:
[Accessed 22 Jan. 2025].
YouTube, 2023. The TRAD WIVES of TikTok by FunkyFrogBait. [video] Available at:
[Accessed 22 Jan. 2025].
YouTube, 2023. 'Oppressed' by Choice: Tradwives Against Feminism by Shanspeare. [video] Available at:
[Accessed 22 Jan. 2025].
YouTube, 2023. The roots of the girl boss and dismantling egomania by Alice Cappelle. [video] Available at:
[Accessed 22 Jan. 2025].
YouTube, 2023. How Capitalism Destroys Feminism by Second Thought. [video] Available at:
[Accessed 22 Jan. 2025].